The Geek, an Introduction

I feel like I should take a moment to apologize for the lack of posting that's been going on here, but the majority of the bloggers here have been extremely busy with pre-spring break schoolwork and spontaneous parties and raves that we've decided are more fun than posting here every day. I can't promise we're all going to start posting again since I have no idea what the others' schedules are, but I'm going to attempt to keep up.

On to the background of the point of this post: recently I have been getting a lot of gifts (various holidays going by and such, not to mention delayed birthday parties since my family is too big to celebrate every single on individually). The best part of this is not necessarily the awesomeness of the gifts, but the realization that I have finally trained my family to understand geek gift giving. I now have two shirts with chem jokes, several music ones and a few general geek shirts that I find hilarious. I also have the first two seasons of The Big Bang Theory and two entire 2 x 1-foot boxes filled with books. The one I need to talk about today is the half-joking half-serious gift that I got yesterday: A Girl's Guide to Dating a Geek.

I must say that the general idea behind this book (as given by the title) is a great one. Geeky people have their own social laws to live by as opposed to the average "normal" person and it's good to be aware of them. If you're new to the geek community, it's probably smart to study up on it a bit unless you feel like learning it as you go along (which is not that painful really, but to each their own). If you're already a geek, either you know it or you can, in true geek fashion, study it before even bothering to attempt it. I'm sure there are plenty of geeks who have yet to have extensive contact with the outside world (or never will, but that's another story).

All in all, it's a sound topic to write a book about. However, the author did not do a good job at all, I'm sad to say. There are several assumptions they made in regards to the audience of their book and those who it is supposedly describing. First, they assume that the girl reading this is not a geek, has no intention of becoming one, thinks geeks are all socially unacceptable and still inexplicably aims to date one. Hopefully, you can find the flaws in this perspective without me having to point them out. Second, they assume that all geeks are or are seen as largely socially inept, unhygienic, inseparable from their computers (or at least from talking about computer-related things), addicted to caffeine, anti-religious, super-intelligent, have no fashion sense and have the ability to bore anyone within fifty paces in 5 seconds flat and not notice it. While some of this may be true in part, it certainly doesn't show the geek in a good light (which I think is extremely offensive and, overall, dumb since geeks will end up ruling the world one day anyway). Third, the difference they noted between geeks and nerds is that nerds lack the knowledge that geeks have and yet are still purely cerebral beings. Personally, I think of nerds as those who are almost exclusively intellectual IRL while geeks spend so much time on the computer that they make the use of the acronym "IRL" necessary to distinguish the fleeting interruptions by real life into the their usual virtual lifestyle. Fourth, they have a few systems in this book for "training" the geek to not be as geeky, to also do non-geek activities or (they put much emphasis on this) bathe. Now, I don't know of any geeks in my realm of experience who don't bathe and, in the event that they don't and I haven't noticed which is unlikely, I'd rather not know. As to the "training," why on earth do you want to date a geek if you're just going to re-train them to be "normal?" Why not just get a "normal" boyfriend/girlfriend and save yourself the effort?

I could go on forever complaining about the portrayal of geeks in this book, but I'm pretty sure that my fellow geeks who are reading this have a good idea of how annoying that is. The part I'm most amazed at is that the author seems to have decided that geek women (or at least geek women who want to date geek men) don't exist and that all typical women have no clue about anything that falls under the topic of geek knowledge - and apparently this includes higher-level word usage (according to the author, the word "plethora" is only used and understood by the most advanced level of geeks...I guess that makes me one of them). I would like to inform the world that we do exist and we are not nearly as repulsive as the regular world seems to insist we are (that goes for all geeks, not just the women).

I must also address that the depiction of conventions, parties and games that geeks frequently gravitate to is rather negative. No detail was added to the descriptions of the types of conventions at all and there was a long section for each type detailing how to entertain oneself at one of these conventions etc. without participating or, Heaven forbid, seeming interested in anything going on. I never knew that the only uses for a girl at a LAN party were related to the transportation of people, junk food and various forms of caffeine to and from the party or the individuals there. Silly me, I expected that I would participate if I attended. I probably shouldn't tell anyone that I was actually looking forward to being a Weeping Angel for our Dr. Who-themed group for Dragon Con later this year either *gasp* the universe may implode.

There is one good point to this book: the pie table. It is not a table made of pie nor did I incorrectly type "pie chart" - it is a table about different types and amounts of pie. To be precise, it is a table that shows, given certain undesirable but sometimes necessary actions that need to be taken by a geek, what type and how much pie should be awarded to them for performing said actions. Apparently, the author has discovered the nearly-universal geek weakness to pie (which I must say is a relief to me because otherwise this book would have been a complete waste of research time - they did say that they did some "research" whether they did or not). Though this means that, if this table is put in a non-geek's hands, that person may have some limited control over a geek, it also means that the geek community is about to get a ton more pie for doing things that we probably would have to do at some point anyway. I don't see any major drawbacks to this.

As much as I have left to say, I imagine I should stop. I could go on for a thousand pages on this (or any) topic, but I know there would be few left reading it by the end. This text simplified: geeks are awesome, they need not be re-trained to be "normal," they do come in both male and female, and they can always be rewarded with pie.

~The Minister of Silly Posts

Exploding Penguin on the Blog Post

As you are about to witness, the title of this post has, simultaneously, everything and nothing to do with the actual subject of the post. The subject of my post is.....[dramatic pause]....[dramatic background music]....CALCULUS! Now, before you run away either to get away from the horrid subject of calculus or to go get your TI-89 for any math problems I might include, I should tell you that this is a rather unconventional view on the subject. Many people, including a few of my fellow bloggers, either love or hate calculus for the basic reason that it is math and, therefore, requires some sort of brain function that does not come easily to all. I enjoy calculus because it is an absolutely wonderful class for doodling.

Math is a very example-/problem-intensive class. Often times, the majority of the class is spent doing practice problems or watching the teacher go through examples. Initially, everyone who is not already aware of the concept in question must pay strict attention as it is presented and justified. It may take anywhere from 1 to 100 examples for the idea to really sink in. However, there will come a point when you understand the concept so well that you could not possibly understand it any better unless the brain of the man who invented it was transplanted into your skull. When you reach this point, there is little left to do. The examples are helpful, but tedious once the concept is properly grasped. It takes a supreme effort to pay attention and force the repetition. That is the point when the mind begins to wander. That is the point that Dominic and I found yesterday (again).

As you might guess, the answer to the almost certain boredom of calculus and a variety of other classes is doodling. This can be either productive or decidedly unproductive. Productive doodling is most often seen in history classes or similar literature-/story-intensive classes where it is possible to illustrate concepts. Calculus is not one of those classes, but it does have one advantage: worksheets. Worksheets always mean time in class to work on said worksheets and, most times, collaboration is encouraged so that students can check each other. In the common tongue of students, this translates to "type A free time." This is where the doodling comes in.

*Type A free time is essentially the kind in which you appear to be working diligently while getting no significant amount of work done. Note in the above picture that only about 1/3 of the worksheet is finished - the amount of possible work that can be done in the average time that the teacher spends at your desk watching you do it.

The latest calc masterpiece began with the rather pointless labels at the top. All those who are amused by it should thank Dominic for starting that. Surprisingly, most of the drawings do have some connection to our class. Gandalf's staff came from the dark mark made by the staple on the worksheet this was copied from, in case you were wondering. Two Gandalfs and one marshmallow Balrog were drawn on the powerpoint notes as well (thank you to verydemotivational.com for the ideas on asymptotes). The rest of the drawings should be fairly self explanatory - in this case meaning that you will understand it or understand that we were bored and we don't need reasons for it looking like that. The Sparta jokes are there courtesies of inspiration by epicwinftw.com and the deliriously bored state we were in.

By far, the best picture on there is Davy Jones Crocket. I can't honestly say why Davy Jones was relevant to writing the proof for the chain rule, but a classmate of ours was attempting to reference Davy Jones and couldn't remember his name. He, apparently, confuses Davy Jones and Davy Crockett. However, due to our sudden genius (or insanity), there is now Davy Jones Crocket, King of the Wild West of the Carribean, and no one need ever reference either one separately. Before you mention it, I do realize that "Carribean" is supposed to be "Caribbean," but someone who shall remain nameless told me to spell it wrong. I am now in the process of creating the mystical land of the Carribean. Feel free to add your ideas to the comments. The laws of physics need not apply.

And now an earlier masterpiece: All Your Donut (so named by Dom).

I was attempting to do lit homework in calc, but obviously that didn't happen. Dr. Who references and donut impersonations are much more fun.

I hope you enjoyed the fruits of our delirium.

~Minister of Silly Posts

Umm....Help?

For some reason, my new post was mistakenly posted under 2/3/10 instead of 2/5/10. I really don't understand this at all considering I did it literally two minutes ago and it should read 2/5/10 5:20pm. But anyway, my post is down there if you care to read it.

~The Minister of Silly Posts

Blog-Stretching Time

In response to recent pressures those of us on this blog have gone through, I must address the vicious cycle that is senior year. First of all, we are all quite sick of school by now. We're sick of teachers who can't teach and teachers who think their class is so important that they can give hours of homework and assume that you can ignore other classes (this is particularly annoying in classes such as Calculus or Health which I will never use in my current career path). We're sick of not having time for our beloved nerdy/geeky things such as video games and webcomics (or two novels stuck in the planning stages in my case). Most of all, we're sick of dumb people in our classes.

Senior year is also annoying from a social point of view, particularly right now. For one thing, we have no time to be social and actually *gasp* have fun. I can list several things I want to do with my friends that will be postponed indefinitely because of this idiotic work. One of these things was supposed to be started two months ago *cough* TCRH *cough*, but school has stabbed it in the metaphorical heart. The second annoying thing that I feel I must mention is prom. The venue for prom was announced recently and now the school has come down with prom fever (I'm sure this is a real and classifiable disease considering the consistency of the symptoms and the general unhealthy effects on wallet contents and single people). Anyway, in the week or two since the announcement I have probably heard the word "prom" 200 times and I have been dragged into the seemingly-satanic ritual of "finding a date." I won't be able to make coherent sentences if I get started on that, so I'll skip it. Use your imagination. In short, prom is an event that, if it were not so overly glorified, would be extremely exciting and fun. However, in similar spirit of any holiday, the prom season begins far too far away from the event itself to hold my interest for that long. Last year, I took to ignoring it until a time I deemed reasonable to think about it. Unfortunately, this year it won't work due to the fact that it's our senior prom and I am actually obligated to find a date this year. Imagine the hype of previous years and multiply by infinity.

Before I go on, I feel I must mention that I actually am excited for prom and I will go. My issue with it is the sheer amount of shallow chatter it generates.

Now that I have deviated a bit, I return. The point of all of this is, we're mentally done with high school. 'What's the solution?' you ask. College.

College is the solution to high school just as high school was the solution for middle school. It is the logical next step, it hopefully contains more interesting subjects and I pray it contains smarter people. The idea of college itself is a bit exciting. We imagine more freedom of self, money and study - not to mention more time to spend with our favorite nerdy/geeky people. However, there is one major problem: college applications.

College applications are a plague upon us high school students who actually take challenging classes. The baseline is: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! The personal information is easy. It's not fun, but it's do-able considering it's the same thing over and over again. Plus, with the miracle that is the Common App, I only had to fill out that info 3 times for the 7 colleges I applied to. The college-specific supplements are the things that really get complicated. Filling out your interests and prospective major are simple enough. The only differences there involve format. Then the eye catches on the colleges' not-so-secret weapons: THE ESSAYS [insert dramatic background music and extreme close-up here].

I don't mind writing essays. Generally, I like writing anyway. I write fiction mainly, but obviously nonfiction is not that much of a stretch for me either. In such things as blogs and college applications, it tends to be about myself and I have more extensive information on that than most other people. Besides, I'm Irish. I can write about nothing for pages (not as much fun though). The part that angers me most is the fact that A) the prompts are usually generic, boring and overused B) the word/character limits stifle creativity and C) most colleges require several essays EXCEPT, of course, the one college you actually need to entice to accept you. On a slightly related topic, I move that we make it illegal for a college to require 4 essays AND an interview unless it is something similar to Harvard or Princeton.

Right now, I am finally done with my applications and nearly done with my interviews. I am infinitely glad that I've made it this far and I wish the colleges would respond sooner, but overall that piece of the process is good. My goal now is to apply for every scholarship known to man to get money to fund this escape from high school. Needless to say, I don't have $100,000 on hand or anything nearly like it. I need as much money as I can get from these scholarships. The issue is that the vast majority of them take quite a while to prepare an acceptable entry for. Also, the deadlines are quite often on the same day. With school work and all of the scholarships I have to fill out, I may spontaneously combust. However, I did find a small glimmer of hope when I saw a $5000 scholarship for simply drawing some species of duck or goose in its natural habitat (to be made into a stamp). Obviously, with such a diverse array of subjects there must be at least one with my name on it. I just hope it's the $20,000 one.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my ranting. I'm sure some of you can empathize.

~The Minister of (not always) Silly Posts

How To Recognize Different Types Of Music From Quite A Long Way Away

I felt the need to share this wonderful song with the world today. This famous piece of music is known as "Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz" (from "A Tribute to Zdenko G. Fibich") composed by John Stump. I must say that this is one of my favorite scores of all time for reasons which will become obvious when you look at it more closely. I particularly enjoy the rigatoni section.

Non-musicians will understand this as well, so don't be scared.

~Minister of Silly Posts

Title Spotting

I have now decided that, as we are all picking titles, I shall be the Minister of Silly Posts. I will probably post several serious and possibly ranting notes intermittently, but humor is much more fun (and I need a reason to make Monty Python references).

Tonight on "It's The Mind" - more music (Styx):
Show Me The Way
Rockin' The Paradise
The Grand Illusion
Lady
Crystal Ball
Blue Collar Man

I could go on with that list forever seeing as Styx is my favorite band.

~The Minister of Silly Posts

And Now For Something Not Entirely Different

Buongiorno! Jaclyn D'Avanzo speaking...er, typing. Unlike Jonathan, I have no official blog title. Feel free to suggest a few if any spring to mind.

I must warn you of four things before I continue 1) I will be referencing Monty Python and sporadically other things 2) I am Italian, but I don't speak it fluently (yet) 3) I write like a British person according to most (long words, odd word order and such), and 4) I am also Irish and a writer, so I can go on talking about not very much for quite a long time.

Now for a bit about me. I am, thus far, the only female writing on this blog. I have a feeling a bit of confusion might come about later if you didn't know that. I have been in marching band for four years and that fact will periodically resurface in my posts I'm sure. I'm a complete band/music geek, and I play the flute, piccolo and sing (soprano, alto and a bit of tenor). Apart from that, I'm interested in most everything - applied and theoretical sciences, art (mostly of the pencil-and-paper variety), writing, anything humorous and, apparently, parenthetical comments. I am constantly reading fantasy books, listening to music or watching various TV shows (Star Trek, M*A*S*H, The Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who, House and Burn Notice among others, SIDE NOTE: don't expect me to know a large amount of useless facts about any but the 2nd and 3rd of these due to the fact that I have little time to actually watch them). My alternate hobby is arguing with people (when I know what I'm talking about of course). I like confusing people with logic, scientific facts and a varied vocabulary. It’s extremely entertaining.

I live for music. I like most everything from classical to classic rock to jazz to hip hop. There is probably one single song from each genre that I like or would like if I knew about it (but there are always exceptions). Obviously, there are some genres I like a good deal more than others and there are some that I refuse to listen to at all with the exception of that single song I like. This being said, I shall leave you with a few songs to acquaint yourself with. In honor of a blog of randomness: a taste of DR. DEMENTO:
Fish Heads (no specified artist)
Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh - Allan Sherman
Nuttin' For Christmas - Stan Freberg
May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose - Little Jimmy Dickens
They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha (no specified artist, but be sure to look for the Dr. Demento version)

If there's anything else anyone wants to know, I can post that too. As it is, I'm at a loss for what else to say that someone might actually bother to read.