Thank Goodness, Lava.

So, The King of the Blog and I were playing the original Super Smash Brothers yesterday (On the N64, which is his forte) and I accidentally fell off the side in the Brinstar map. Lucky for me, the lava was there, so I hit the lava, took a lot of damage, and flew up into the sky, hence the title.

Enough about random inside jokes. On with the post. Today, I will be discussing something very dear to me; something that may also be dear to you: The Internet. More specifically, I'm going to be talking (ranting) about how TV ruins the Internet's memes and cultures. For reference, here is a video on Youtube that I'm sure you all have heard/seen (Bed Intruder) and here's a recently remade version sponsored by 'Lopez Tonight' (Chimney Intruder).

Are your ears bleeding yet? Good, then explaining this will be much easier. That was awful. Like seriously, television, stay away from mai interwebs!!! lol, but seriously, they really tried hard to make a funny parody, but it just didn't work at all. Herein lies the fundamental problem that businesses, television stations/programs, etc... have: they don't know how to branch out into the internet. Here's the other problem: no one who uses the internet cares about them unless they specifically search for their site. If I'm just browsing the internet, I don't care about your television program. Moreover, if you shove it in my space by spamming ads, I'm going to hate your show/product, which is the opposite of what they want. No one cares about their Facebook pages either. Really, there are two types of people that become fans of these people online: their hardcore fans, who they don't need to reach out to, and people that 'like' their page in order to win a prize or something (occasionally fan pages on Facebook offer prizes to random fans of their page). And, a lot of the updates are just annoying, so people 'hide' them from their newsfeed.

This is a huge problem for businesses because the Internet is possibly the single greatest way to advertise and expand one's user base. The problem is, no one knows how to use the Internet to accomplish this. The end result is that the business spends a bunch of money that results in a little attention and a lot of frustration.

Sorry about the short post, but it's Christmas Eve, and I have things I want to do. I promise next week's post will be better.

Hide yo children,
The Professor of the Blog

Failblogging

So, it's time for another one of my spectacular blog posts!! Not really, but onward anyway!

Okay, so you might be wondering what this post is even about. Well, it's going to be about an assortment of things, so let's dive right in and find out!

Part 1: The Internet

Okay, so you're on The Internet right now. Most people use The Internet for a variety of things such as viewing Email, chatting, going on social networks, playing games, etc... But, if you are going to truly embrace The Internet, you need to do a few things. First, know the rules of The Internet. If you are not familiar with the rules, click here IMMEDIATELY!! Second, check some of the entertaining sites on The Internet regularly. I'd recommend going to http://cheezburger.com/ and finding the sites with the humor you identify most with (there's a few links in the sidebar, but a LOT of the sites are left out). Also, be sure to check various webcomics, youtube, and other such media. You never know when the next big thing will appear on The Internet. Third, you need to understand 1337 s0 7h@7 u c@n pwn |\|008s. Finally, check The Internet regularly, as it stops for no man!

Part 2: I Choose You, BLOG POST!!

Okay, so if you didn't get that reference, go educate yourself IMMEDIATELY (Or skip this part if you don't care about this topic)!! This game series has been present since the 90s, and has spawned one of the best and most successful game franchises of all time. Any gamer that has not played a game in this franchise (especially the originals) is not a gamer. I personally have played Red, Silver, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Blue Rescue Team (not as good as the main series), and Diamond (As well as Yellow & Cyrstal on Visual Boy Advance). These games are just pure awesomeness. Sure, they've gotten carried away with the sheer number of them, and their names, but that doesn't detract from it at all. It still retains it's appeal, as shown by the fact that a remake of gold/silver called HeartGold/SoulSilver is coming out (basically combines Kanto/Johto/Honen regions, so there are 9 STARTERS!! Plus, like in yellow, YOU CAN CHOOSE ONE TO FOLLOW YOU AROUND!!! ) This post is simply a tribute to one of the greatest game series ever. May it live forever (the card game and TV shows can die for all I care).

Part 3: NERDS

I feel obligated to talk about a few Nerdy things. But first, some background: society (being the spawn of Satan that it is) has put a negative context on the term "nerd". Why is this? Nerds are clearly superior to non-nerds in almost every way that matters (A few exceptions, but the point stands). So, why is the term negative? And what can you do to help solve this? Well, first of all, you need to prove that you are a nerd, and you can do that by answering the questions below!

1. Do you find yourself knowing unusually high amounts of knowledge in certain academic areas?

2. Do you tend to dislike the "preps"/"jocks"/"cool kids" ?

3. Do you think about academic subjects outside of school/work?

4. Do you talk about academic subjects with your friends outside of school/work?

5. Do/did you take advanced level courses in school?

Academic in this sense means any real valuable courses that a school would offer (includes tech, business, etc...) And, when I say say academic subjects, I mean more than 1 (clarification for non-nerds).

If you said yes to at least 4 of the questions, you are most likely a nerd. So now that we have this established, how can you contribute to the world of nerds? (aka the world) First, whenever someone calls you a nerd, thank them, and take it as a compliment. So many people will be confused by this, which leaves them vulnerable to your nerdy mind tricks (use your knowledge to outsmart them). Also, begin plotting with your friends to do something (ANYTHING). Plotting is a good mental exercise to stimulate creative thinking, and exchange of nerdy ideas. There are other things, but I will save that for another post. (Also, be sure to look HERE for information on how to do nerd bombs).

This may be the longest post on the blog (or one of the longest.) So, farewell for now!!

ACRONYM of the Blog

When you're downloading Mozilla Firefox... You're downloading communism!

So, in case you can't judge by the title, I'm going to do a quick review of all the Major internet browsers; they will be in order from the worst to the best. So, without any further ado, let's get started!

Internet Explorer: I have 1 word that sums up this browser: terrible. It's the slowest of pretty much all of the modern web browsers. Not to mention, that when you want to install an add-on, you have to download an install file, and go through the installation wizard. WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO THAT? It baffles me that all the other browsers don't do this, but Internet Explorer seems to be a rebel. In addition, the 64-bit IE isn't compatible with flash. LAME!! If you have any sense whatsoever, you will not use this browser (unless you are forced to).

Opera: This browser is okay. It's not great, not bad, just okay. It's pretty fast, but when you open a new tab, it takes you to it. What if I just wanted to open a couple tabs to look at them individually? Solid browser, but they are better ones out there.

Safari: Apple's signature browser, this browser is solid. I have absolutely no problems with it: it's fast, it's reliable, and it's good. I'd recommend it.

Firefox: This browser is basically Safari with more customizability... A LOT MORE. I've never seen a browser with more ways to customize it than Firefox. There are so many add-ons that do so many things. I would highly suggest it.

Google Chrome: The biggest and baddest of the browsers, Chrome is by far the fastest browser that you can use. It also has some customizability (not quite as much as Firefox). It's also really nice to be able to drag tabs into separate windows. I would recommend using this as your default browser: It's awesome.

That's it for now!

ACRONYM of the Blog