Mahatma Gandhi

Today's rant is about everyone's favorite Indian political peace activist (okay, maybe I can't think of any others...) - Gandhi. However, pursuant to my nonconformistismalictasticfulness, and penchant for making up words when I feel like it, I shall rant not about how awesome he was as a peaceful protester and so forth but about what you probably didn't realize about this eccentric fellow.
As you know, Gandhi was a well-to-do businessman who decided to become an "untouchable" and dress and live as such. In doing so, he forced himself to wear skimpy and not very flattering clothing all the time, even going so far as to go barefoot. This, combined with the rough environments in which he, as an untouchable, frequently found himself, contributed to a massive degree of callosities on his body. I mean seriously, you could look at him and go "Dude! There's a frood who knows where his towel is. And who apparently uses it to rub sand all over himself all the time."
What's more, the life of an untouchable meant a very low-calorie diet. This turned out to be a double-bladed sword, as not only did he lose a lot of weight - especially muscle mass, due to a protein deficiency - but the low flow rate of saliva in his mouth caused him to have horrible breath. You could look at him and go "Dude! There's a frood who knows where his towel is. And apparently uses it to uh, soak up bad-smelling stuff and suck on it. Or something."
It gets even grittier! Before he established his reputation as a very awesome frood who knew where his towel was and used it to fight off the British (in combination with his formidable arsenal of civil disobedience tactics), his highly nonconformistismalictasticfulness ended up making him rather unpopular, to the point where those who encountered him would say "Dude! I'm sick of all these Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy references!" and also see him as a somewhat supernatural sort of human.
In the end, you could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. And also that he knew where his- okay, enough already.

Shutting up.